confidentiality

We know you want details. Really, we know. But you're just going to have to wait.

Soon after we matched with our child, we were called into the agency to do the next wave of paperwork. (So. Much. Paperwork.) At the time we were told that we would be required to sign a confidentiality agreement. Meaning, we cannot share any information about our child until we take her into custody. What?! Just when we're ready to shout if from the rooftops, we're told we have to keep a lid on our daughter's beautiful face until we bring her home?! Yes, exactly.

So what can we tell you? Well, first, we chose to adopt from China. Within the first couple weeks we had it narrowed down to China, India and the Democratic Republic of Congo. There are a lot of reasons we finally decided on China, but we'll save the top reason for another post. She's from Southern China, near the Canton region. Fortunately, we'll still be able to use our Mandarin!

The next critical detail: it's a girl. And that was quite the shock to us. About 90% of those who adopt (anywhere) will only accept the match of a girl child. This means lots of boys get left behind. The children in Chinese orphanages are about half and half. We decided early on that we'd be happy to welcome a girl or boy into our family. We were told that because people wait in line for years for girls, we'd very likely be bringing home a boy. Great! So, for months we've been preparing to bring home a son. And then we found out that, in fact, we had matched with a girl.

What else? She'll be about 18 months when we bring her home. She's tiny but has very well-developed social skills. And she doesn't like it when anyone tries to take a toy away. We're thinking Frankie's going to have a rough time adjusting.

Beyond that, we don't actually have much more information. We probably won't be posting any pictures to social media when we do bring her home, so you'll just have to come visit!

neutral

We intend to stay neutral with this kid for as long as we possibly can. Gender neutral, that is. She'll get enough from society telling her what gender is and what it means to identify as a particular gender. So for now, we're keeping all clothing, toys and the like gender neutral (yay for monochrome!).

This means no frills, tiaras, bows, sparkles or the like (until she gets old enough to demand whatever it is she wants to wear). Really. But… If you really, really want to do something to show how excited you about this little one joining our family, please click the "Donate" button to help us raise $6,000 to go toward care for the rest of the children in the same orphanage where she's being raised! There's nothing that would make us happier in this time of celebration (and a whole lot of anxiety). Really.

giving back

In case anyone is wondering, adoption isn't cheap. But raising kids isn't either. No matter where you are. And although we often wish we had more money for this or that, we know we're pretty damn privileged. 

Something that really struck us very early in the process is that there are an awful lot of children in orphanages. And we're only bringing home one. And since we can't bring them all home, we're compelled to give back to the orphanage that has been caring for our daughter. 

So we've decided to donate $6,000 to help cover the care for all the kids that won't be coming home with us.* And we'd love your help! See that "Donate" button to the left? Simply click that, and you can help us give back to the orphanage that is making our adoption possible. 

We cannot thank you enough for your support!

*Our agency is helping to ensure this is a sanctioned process. They've done this many times over! We are confident these funds will be used by our daughter's orphanage to care for the children. 

first choice

Yes, it's true. We're adopting! And while it may have taken us more than a decade to choose parenthood, it took us no time at all to choose adoption as our path to parenthood. There are many reasons adoption is our first choice, but really it's about being able to provide a loving home to a child who needs a family.

We can't say this journey has been easy. In fact, it's been quite the roller coaster ride. But now that the arrival of our daughter is just a few short months away, that's all that really matters. Our agency has been helping us to navigate this very long and convoluted process, encouraging us all along. There were plenty of times we felt this process may never end, but now suddenly we can't believe how quickly it's all coming together! So stay tuned, friends, because we're bringing home our daughter this spring!